5) Everything is a phase
This is both a relief and a burden. It's great news to learn that the incessant middle-of-the-night, can't-I-just-go-back-in-your-tummy, I-CAN-NOT-PHYSICALLY-BE-FED-ENOUGH, screaming is just a phase. However, when your baby has seemingly gotten into the habit of sleeping until 9 in the morning, and your life is so perfect you just want to cry from well-rested happiness…That makes it so much harder when you hear that formerly familiar 4 a.m. cry. Currently we're waiting for the end of the I-don't-want-to-be-swaddled-but-if-you-put-me-to-bed-sans-swaddle-I-will-only-suck-on-my-hands-until-I'm-bored-and-then-I-will-cry-because-I-am-so-exhausted-but-you're-crazy-if-you-think-I'm-going-to-bed phase. But at least I know it's just that…a phase.
4) Stop to smell the roses…And take a video of those dang roses, even if they don't do much
When Amber Nora was brand new, I was kind of surprised to discover how little newborns truly do. I don't know what I thought. I was aware of their total lack of motor skills and inability to control literally every single part of their body. But seriously. She just slept, and ate, and pooped, and cried. Nothing too terribly interesting. I took my first video of her when she was 3 weeks old, and she wasn't doing anything other than sitting in her swing, staring out the window. But now I look back and I wish I had earlier videos, before she could even stare. The memories it sparks…That time when she was so little and so fragile and so perfect and so new…You will never be a brand new mom again. When you have another, I'm sure the love and wonderment is just as strong…But I imagine your confidence and honestly, your competence is at a much higher level. That brand new feeling is something to capture and cherish…And now, I try to have a camera within reach whenever possible. I was fortunate enough to get most of her "seconds". Her second smile, the second time she rolled over, her second belly laugh. Once I knew to look out for it, I had the camera poised and ready. And I already look back on those videos, reminisce, and lament on how fast my perfect little baby girl is growing up. I love my videos. I'm pretty sure I'll love them even more 10 years from now.
3) A decent camera is a good investment
I am an obsessive documenter of my daughter's life, it's true. Everything she does is picture-worthy to me. My family just got together and bought me a fabulous DSLR camera for my birthday, so mine wasn't really an investment on my part, but OH, the difference! I was using a little point and shoot before, which will still get it's fair share of use (and takes 1080p video…Can't imagine trying to hold my big 'ole DSLR to take videos of her while she lays in my arms…) but I am so excited about the possibilities and the memories I'll be able to capture with a camera that can capture every drop of water, every type of lowlight setting, every crazy-swirly-dancey moment. All I see on Facebook is camera phone photos of babies, and I have had so many people tell me, even technology bloggers, that cameras are an obsolete appliance because of smart phones. In my opinion, not.even.close.
2) There's a reason you chose to make a baby with that oaf who hogs half your bed
My husband, Jon, and I have always been adamant that our relationship is different. When we had kids, we would still make each other a priority. We wouldn't lose ourselves just because we made a commitment to a tiny chunk of human. We loved each other too much to let our relationship fall by the wayside. PUH. Those tiny chunks of human are a lot more all-consuming than you bargain for. And I, as a brand new mommy, was like a bitchy tiger going through hormone replacement therapy or something. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE BABY POWDER. Are you trying to kill my child? The butt paste does the same exact thing and she's not inhaling tiny specs of doom! Why don't you listen to me? Why don't you care? If you didn't want a baby you should have just said so. All I wanted was a back rub! I'm sorry baby….Baby, I'm sorry. I love you so much. I shouldn't have said all that. I didn't realize all the butt paste was gone. I love - WHY ARE YOU HOLDING HER LIKE THAT? She doesn't like it when you put your hand under her kneecaps! Why do you never listen to anything I say??? I know she's your baby, too but did you carry her in YOUR body for 9 months? No? Well then newsflash, buddy, I know her a heluva lot better than you do. Oh, baby. I'm sorry. I love you." That sort of a vicious cycle that I'm sure will continue to have a psychological effect on my husband for years to come. So as my hormones started to level out and I started getting more than 45 minutes of sleep a day, the hubs and I reevaluated the situation. We remembered the promises we made to each other…And decided to make date night a priority at least twice a month. That was an extremely difficult thing for me at first. I cried as I touted my little girl, along with pretty much every single one of her belongings, to grandma's house. I felt so guilty, I was nauseous. But that guilt is unfounded. Grandma wanted time with her and was perfectly capable of taking care of her. The hubs wanted time with me and really, truly deserved it. It got easier, and as I relaxed, it really became something to look forward to. There are other ways to strengthen a post-baby relationship, and we've executed a lot of them, but date night is an oft-forgotten, really important staple…And a good step on the road to being a wife/husband, mother/father, as well as an individual. It's easy to lose yourself. Don't.
1) Oh, that love…
You know that love that everyone tells you about? That one you couldn't possible understand until you have a baby of your own? That cliche that you can't run from because it's everywhere? It's there for a reason. Maybe you can't fully register it at first. You may get depressed because you don't think you love your kid enough. You're so tired and terrified and hormonal that you really don't know what you've gotten yourself into. That's ok. Just wait. This all encompassing love is what makes it all worth it. This little thing will poop on you, puke on you, snot all over you, say it loves your mother-in-law more than it loves you, take take take and give nothing in return, and probably go through a 7-year-phase where it hates your guts. I don't know. I haven't been there yet. But I do know that there is nothing this little pain-in-the-ass could do to diminish this love so powerful it aches. And there will be millions of mommy moments that completely make it worth it. Like when she's crying in her crib and when I walk in she gives me the biggest grin because she knows I'm there to make it all better. It's magic.
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