Homemade Sloppy Joes

You want to know something that pretty much always consistently sucks?  Going to the dentist.  You know what else?  Seeing cop lights flashing behind you.  You know what ELSE?  School lunch food.

It's been a while since I really partook in the eating of cafeteria food.  I believe it was around 6th grade when I learned that the $20 my dad was handing me each week would be much better used on things like sodas from the vending machine and school spirit tee-shirts.  When I got to college, my meal plan was used on Taco Mayo and the little hibachi bar in the student union food court and chai lattes from the coffee shop.  Never once set foot in an Oklahoma State University cafeteria.  Never. Once.

But I remember always looking forward to sloppy joe day in elementary school.  The hubs and I got to talking about it one day..."Do you remember how AWESOME sloppy joes were?  Man, that was the stuff, right there".  Which led to a can of Manwich and an introspective look on our young selves questionable taste in food.

But I conceded that things are rarely very good when they come from a can.  Except green beans.  I could eat canned green beans all day long.  Fresh green beans are an intense disappointment for me.  So waxy and unpleasant to chew.  But that's beside the point.  I decided to try my hand at homemade sloppy joes...And they have been a staple at my house since I started making them.  My husband loves them and they are super simple to make.  They use mostly ingredients that I usually have on hand, and they're a bit more interesting than burgers when you're just not really in the mood for a meat-hunk.

You will need:

1 TBSP vegetable oil (to coat the pan)

1.5 pounds ground beef

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 TBSP montreal steak seasoning (or whatever steak seasoning you have on hand)

1 medium onion

1 green bell pepper (my husband hates bell peppers so we opt to leave it out)

1 TBSP red wine vinegar

1 TBSP worcestershire sauce 

15 oz. tomato sauce

3 TBSP tomato paste

Rolls (Hearty, crusty rolls are best, but I had some hamburger buns that were creeping a little too close to their "Best if used by" date, so...There ya go)

Chop up your onion.  I like to chop it pretty small so that the onion has very little textural presence in the dish.  I know the onion is necessary but if I could just forget it was there, that would be fantastic.

Heat your oil over medium high heat, then add your ground beef and start to brown it.  Ignore how ugly my pan is because your momma raised you to be polite.

Mix together your brown sugar and montreal steak seasoning.  Add to the pan before the meat is completely brown but after you've got a little build-up of grease.  I know that sounds gross.  But just trust me on this.

Once meat has browned, add your onions, vinegar, and worcestershire to the pot.  If you're using peppers, now's the time to add those as well.  Cook it up for 5 minutes.

Now you're going to add your tomato sauce and paste.  Mix it all up and then reduce your heat to a simmer.  Keep it on a very low boil for 5 minutes more.

If it ain't pretty, you're doing something right.  Now taste it and make sure it's yummy yummy nom nom.  Season with salt and pepper if ya wanna.  Serve on buns.

The omnomnomnomiest side to go with this is deviled egg potato salad.  But I didn't have time to make that last night.  So because I'm such a culinary master, it was mac and cheese and sauteed onions, mushrooms, and green beans (why, yes!  They were canned green beans!) and the hubs' not-so-sophisticated pallet didn't mind one bit.  I'll include my recipe for the potato salad below, though, in case anyone's interested.

Deviled Egg Potato Salad:

9 prepared and peeled hard boiled eggs

5-6 potatoes, peeled and cubed (I use russet)

Kosher Salt

1/4 onion, grated

3 tablespoons yellow mustard

1/3 cup mayonnaise

1 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon tabasco (or other pepper sauce)

Salt and pepper

Remove yolks from eggs, but do not dispose of the yolks.  Chop whites of eggs into small chunks.  Boil potatoes in water seasoned with kosher salt until tender, but not falling apart (about 10 minutes).  Drain the potatoes and return to warm pot for 2 minutes to dry out.  Spread on a cookie sheet to cool.  In a medium bowl combine yolks, onion, mustard, mayonnaise, paprika, and tobasco.  Mix well.  Add potatoes to the yolk mixture and distribute evenly.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  Fold in chopped egg whites.